The B's & C's

B's & C's - also known as  Boyfriends & Ciroc.

They make for an interesting combination I suppose. I spent my weekend visiting my boyfriend in Jersey and it was relaxing (when we weren't fighting...surprise). The two of us splurged on Friday and bought a bottle of Ciroc instead of my usual vodka of choice: pink lemonade Burnetts. Let me just tell you - that shit is jesus juice. Chaser? What chaser? Thats how yummy it is and I'm usually a huge chaser fan. As in let me chug a can of coke after my shot please. And then eat a chip. The chug-chip method is the best I have yet to come by. Strongly recommend it. Whenever I come into a few extra dollars it will definitely be my go-to choice of vodka now.

As if I wasn't treating my body bad enough, the two of us got Taco Bell breakfast Sunday morning. If you aren't already aware, I am a huge TBell fan. When I heard they were putting out a breakfast menu I was more than excited. Well let me tell you, it did NOT disappoint…obviously. I ordered the waffle taco, sans meat, and the boyfriend ordered the breakfast crunchwrap. I could have eaten fifteen waffle tacos because those things are dangerously delicious.

I am back home now and ready to start my week and stop eating so shitty. FYI -  I am writing this while stuffing my face with homemade guacamole and chips… you be the judge of how well I am adhering to that motto right now.

Here's what I'm listening to: 

Fall in Love - Phantogram

Procrastination

Good evening all! As usual, I am procrastinating the shit out of studying for a biology test tomorrow morning. I've been putting it off because of a raging hangover I've been sappily nursing all day… and apparently night considering its now 7 pm.

This weekend was particularly special because it was my birthday! Birthdays are never my favorite holidays to celebrate but this year I had an absolutely wonderful time. Even though all day Thursday I sat in ER at the hospital because of horrible heartburn and acid reflux, that I was convinced was a stomach ulcer… still yet to be determined.. I had a lovely weekend. I was nursed back to health that  Thursday evening thanks to my perfect boyfriend who had a bath running when I got home and helping around the house. I can't reiterate how grateful I am for all of that.

Friday, my actual birthday, was spent in classes (unfortunately) and then at a delicious dinner. He gave me presents before dinner, hello the best part of a birthday.. The best gift was a handmade bracelet with pearls his friends mom made. I am all about local and handmade so it was perfect. He also re-upped my record collection with Haim, The Arctic Monkeys, and Anthony Green vinyls. If all of that wasn't enough, he also gave me the cutest Rilakkuma mug for my tea! Basically, perfect presents!
I got completely overdressed for dinner, neither of us had any idea that the restaurant was a hole in the wall, but the food was so delicious. Even if I was the only person who has ever worn heels into the restaurant, I looked cute and my boyfriend definitely took notice. Dasiwa by the Art Museum has the most delicious sushi, and "not-chos. What is a not-cho? Well, other than a gift from the Asian heavens, it is a fried wonton shell, topped with tuna, tobiko, scallions, crunch, and eel sauce. Still confused? Its basically an Asian nacho. YUM. As if it couldn't get any better, the restaurant is BYOB so you know that the two of us killed a bottle of Barefoot wine while we were there… only to come home and drink another half a bottle.

Happily Ever After 

Saturday we slept in and relaxed, exactly what I needed. The two of us went to this adorable coffee and desert cafe down the street from my house, aptly named, Happily Ever After. The atmosphere is all movie related and extremely clean and modern. They even had a wall-e! I know where I will be spending most of my time, and money, from now on. We meandered around my neighborhood and I took him into some art galleries. Looking at art is definitely a favorite thing of mine to do and being able to experience it with someone else is lovely. I left the galleries feeling inspired and wanting to take a million pictures again, which I never have time for. We also stopped into an antique store and the record store down the street from me and picked up some gems. An old Beatles album, Frank Sinatra, and I got the new Modern Baseball album! My boyfriend hates them, but they're a local Philadelphia band and all of their music reminds me of what I listened to in middle school, hello nostalgia.

Saturday night we celebrated my birthday with some friends at my apartment. In other words, me and a few friends got completely trashed on a menagerie of alcohols and passed out at 4 am. Explaining the hangover all of us have been dealing with all day. Some of us have puked, others have felt their heads exploding, but it was all worth it.

I am so grateful for having such an amazing person like him in my life right now and I am even able to call him my boyfriend. We do have a lot of issues but when everything is going good for us, like this weekend, we get along so well. I really am lucky to have someone who I love and care for and feel it reciprocated back. I hope that everyone is lucky enough to feel like this in their life.

Here's what I'm listening to:

You're Gonna Miss It All - Modern Baseball

Excuse me, while I toot my own horn

Yes, here I am honking away over here. My boyfriend and I recently decided that we will be starting our own independent, small clothing line based out of Philadelphia. We know a few people who have been doing it and just thought, "fuck.. we could do this… but better." We're both creative individuals and both have some awesome ideas. We're currently looking for somewhere/someone to print the t-shirts for us but we have a lot of ideas and designs in the works. We plan to sell t-shirts, hoodies, jackets, hats, beanies, for both the gentlemen and ladies out there. Really, we're planning on making anything that we think would look dope.. and is affordable. We know what it's like to be a broke ass kid (hence the name). Definitely keep checking back because this won't be the last time you'll hear about Broke Ass Kidz. If you're interested please don't hesitate to contact me via e-mail or comment below.

Caution: Rocky Roads Ahead

For those of you who don't consistently read my blog, (so… everyone) a week ago my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight in the middle of the night because of a giant mistake I had made. (Refer to: A Bottle Or Two… Or Five Kinda Day) Basically I got myself tangled into a web of lies because of my own past experiences and my own personal fears, which then escalated a stupid situation into something that really didn't mean anything to begin with. Thus causing a lot of yelling, tears, and emotional throw up all over the place for the past week. I have basically given him my lovely present of people having issues trusting me. 

I do this in every relationship just as things are getting perfect…why? Oh yeah, of course! Because I have self-destructive tendencies. As if I have some form of an internal switch to fuck everything up, I have found myself in another situation with me on my knees begging for someone in the most unhealthy way. In the past I managed to do some serious damage to some exes and I still don't even know why.. Maybe I'm terrified of commitments? Maybe I'm too selfish? Maybe I just can't have something positive in my life for more than few months. Its important for me to identify something so I can just be happy for once, and so that the others around me can be happy as well. 

It isn't helping any situations that every five minutes he changes his mind to wanting to work it out between us to telling me to fuck off. It isn't healthy for either of us continue in this manner.. he just needs to make up his mind. I do understand that it is going to take time to get back to a place of mutual trust between us, but I think that this relationship has potential. We work together in a way that is unlike anything I've experienced before. I know that it is going to take him time to forgive and/or forget, but his mood swings hit me hard every time and are extremely hurtful. As the insightful, modern day philosopher, Carrie Bradshaw once stated, "What to do? Rely on the same old needle point philosophy of forgive and forget? And even if a couple can manage the forgiveness, has any really conquered the forgetness? How do we forgive if we can't forget?"

Whatever happens to us is completely up to him. I have given him full reign to decide what he wants to do. Whether he wants to just give up and walk away, or put in the time and effort that would benefit us in the long run, it is now his decision. Whatever he decides, rocky roads are ahead for the both of us and I'll be here trying not to ruin everything. 

A Bottle Or Two… Or Five Kinda Day

First day back at classes and already considering death by liver poisoning induced by alcoholism. My schedule is extremely hectic, having classes from 9 am to 3 pm straight is exhausting. To make it even better my schedule includes a math for the first time in years so we can only cross our fingers and pray to some holy spirit that I will make it through the next ten weeks of this chaos.

It really didn't help that my boyfriend decided it was a good idea to wake me up at 2 am and drop a relationship nuclear attack on me. Not only did he decide it was important enough to wake me up in the middle of the night, before my crazy day that I had to be up at 6:30 am for, but then figured that he was just too upset to even talk to me about it. He promptly hung up after he told me about what was bothering him and left me gaping at my phone without the time to explain myself. Needless to say I was up literally all night dealing with all of that craziness.

I woke up today to the disgusting weather that smacked the Northeast in the face. The morning rain and strange humidity and heat melted all of the snow but had me walking Sushi in a downpour at an hour that shouldn't even be legal to be awake at. I got back to my apartment to find that my shitty windows decided to leak onto the windowsill where I keep my new record player and speakers. They seem to be working okay for now but who knows.. at the rate my day is going they'll probably never work again.

Paul Rudd summed it all up. Whatever…. theres always tomorrow and more importantly, alcohol.

** Warning: Sappy boyfriend post below **

The story of how my boyfriend and I met is so our generation. Rewind to middle school, to pimples, to braces, to me being "scene", to awkward encounters… to MySpace. My next-door neighbor who I had grown up living next to at my shore house and I used to spend hours locked in my room myspace-stalking profiles and looking at stupid youtube videos. She had shown me his myspace and I thought he was cute so I added him. We began talking somehow, I don't remember how that all worked. I probably commented on one of his pictures all desperate. (pc4pc!) I don't even remember how we got each other's numbers or how/why we even hung out in the first place. But we did and we hit it off. Enough to date that summer and I really did fall for him. We took each other's virginity. What I felt for him was real.

Unfortunately, when school started back up in September, he broke it off with me and broke my heart in the process. His excuse at the time was he didn't want to do a long distance relationship - especially with it being our freshman year in high school. LAME.

Eventually I got over it and started dating. I met another guy who I dated for four years. He helped me grow and mature into the person I am today and supported me through everything and anything. Towards the end things got really bitter between us and I broke it off - things just weren't the same anymore.

My current boyfriend and I had remained in touch throughout all the years and, surprise, the two of us had recently become single. We began talking a lot more and when the summer happened this year we started seeing each other a lot. The rest is pretty much history. The two of us have been dating for awhile and what I feel for him his crazy - I honestly don't know how to explain it. He's the funniest person I've ever met and makes me feel something I haven't felt before. We're both crazy and weird together. We're very passionate and extremely strong-willed people, but sometimes it blows up in our faces. Trust me - I'm sure my neighbors think we're crazy listening to us laughing and making cat noises one minute and then the next screaming at each other. Our relationship is crazy just like the two of us, but at the end of the day it's us two, and it is real and it is raw.

(The two of us on Halloween this year)