Growing Up Religious

Growing up in a semi-religious household was always difficult for me. My father was not interested in religion at all, while on the other hand, my mother was convinced that Jesus Christ was going to save us all from the devil himself any day.

I went to Catholic school for pre-school & kindergarden. When my parents put me into public school I was forced to go to CCD once a week. I had to partake in all of the sacraments, attend church, the whole nine yards. It was from an early age that I had decided that religion, specifically Catholicism, was not for me. I dreaded going to CCD and felt that the whole idea of religion was being shoved down my throat without any other options available to me. I felt completely engulfed in a group of people and ideas that I did not belong to. I felt lost & alone. 

My parents thought my absolute dread for any Catholic events or responsibilities was a phase. That any day I would just mature out of it & finally realize that they were right along. They were so wrong.

Thank god I grew up in a time where the internet was available to me. Researching religions took up a lot of my time when I was in middle school just to see what option was best for me. At the end of the day, religion in general is not for me. I don't believe in a god or a savior or anything like that. I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in a heaven or hell.

After all of my research, I found that Buddhism is something that I relate to but on a philosophical level. Believing in reincarnation is not something I necessarily respond to in my own life but I do believe in a lot of the messages the religion is trying to put out there for everyone to live by.

Honestly, I will never truly understand why parents are so intent in making sure that whatever religion they abide by needs to be the same that their children abide by too. People are so different in so many ways and children should be exposed to all of these differences. Children should be able to make up their own decisions in what they believe in and see what is best for them. When I was growing up I wish that I had more of these options available to me. I felt very lost and confused as a child having to attend a school, a class, and religious events that I just absolutely did not believe in. I'm sure that not being a Catholic disappoints my mother, that I'll never get married in a church, or force my children to attend any of the religious things I had to. At this point its just not up to them - & it shouldn't have been from the start.