An Unsettling Wake Up Call

Today was just like any other day. I snoozed my alarm five times, finally woke up, showered, and went to my 11am class. I sat in my normal seat, tried my hardest to stay awake and focus on something so stupid like qualitative research methods. Everything was totally normal until I heard two of my classmates talking about an event that happened at my school yesterday.

Apparently yesterday afternoon a man with a gun on his waist was walking around in my university's library, drunk.

Growing up in today's day and age where school shootings are an unfortunate part of our national news, having one of these events happen close to home is one of my biggest fears. I was at school yesterday and walked right past the library. I almost considered going in to relax until my 1pm class started. After I heard the two talking about it so nonchalantly I piped in & had a million questions about it of course. As far as I can tell from the multiple student reports I have heard that yesterday afternoon, a man, not sure if it was a student or not, was drinking beers in the library and students reported seeing a gun on his waist. A few students said it was a shotgun although I'm not sure. There were cops at the library trying to handle the situation where he was arrested. My concern is, why wasn't I notified? Why did the school not release any alerts or put anyone in lockdown? What if I had just walked into the library by chance? Why is this being treated as if nothing happened? Why am I hearing it from the students instead of reliable sources, like the actual university?

Having your personal security put at risk in such a way is absolutely terrifying. It's especially unsettling when the school is completely keeping it a secret from it's students and the media. Yes, it could have been an individual with a permit to carry a weapon, but regardless, I would still have liked to have been notified from the university while it was occurring and definitely some follow up as well. Basically, I just experienced a very rude awakening to an issue that many hope would never occur so close to home.

Vinyls & PBR

Just call me a horrible blogger because I have absolutely no schedule when it comes to this thang. I just blog when I'd like and when I'm inspired. Sorry!


Record Store Day was this Saturday and it was so fun. I woke up and walked down to the store down the street from me, AKA Music.

Record Store Day for those unaware is basically a celebration of music on vinyl and local, small record stores; a lot of bands release exclusive music on vinyls that are only available on Record Store Day in limited quantities. The store did an awesome job providing good vibes and music. Free beer was being given out (I was in there like swimwear obv) & local, free music was being played too.

The line wrapped around the store but the PBR and music made everything okay for sure. I was amongst Urban Outfitters biggest customers, dressed in tight pants, jean jackets and beards and tattoos all over the place. Not that I am complaining. A local band from New Jersey, Ortolan, played & I fell in love. I picked up their vinyl on the way out & haven't stopped listening to it. I was also able to pick up two exclusive releases, Ray Lamontagne & a Circa Survive & Sunny Day Real Estate collab, & a Born Ruffians vinyl too.

Basically, between the PBR, live music, and vinyls, it was a hipsters paradise. I enjoyed every minute of it & cannot wait for next year.

Here's what I'm Listening to:

Votes Are In - Ortolan

&

You Don't Know - Ortolan

Growing Up Religious

Growing up in a semi-religious household was always difficult for me. My father was not interested in religion at all, while on the other hand, my mother was convinced that Jesus Christ was going to save us all from the devil himself any day.

I went to Catholic school for pre-school & kindergarden. When my parents put me into public school I was forced to go to CCD once a week. I had to partake in all of the sacraments, attend church, the whole nine yards. It was from an early age that I had decided that religion, specifically Catholicism, was not for me. I dreaded going to CCD and felt that the whole idea of religion was being shoved down my throat without any other options available to me. I felt completely engulfed in a group of people and ideas that I did not belong to. I felt lost & alone. 

My parents thought my absolute dread for any Catholic events or responsibilities was a phase. That any day I would just mature out of it & finally realize that they were right along. They were so wrong.

Thank god I grew up in a time where the internet was available to me. Researching religions took up a lot of my time when I was in middle school just to see what option was best for me. At the end of the day, religion in general is not for me. I don't believe in a god or a savior or anything like that. I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in a heaven or hell.

After all of my research, I found that Buddhism is something that I relate to but on a philosophical level. Believing in reincarnation is not something I necessarily respond to in my own life but I do believe in a lot of the messages the religion is trying to put out there for everyone to live by.

Honestly, I will never truly understand why parents are so intent in making sure that whatever religion they abide by needs to be the same that their children abide by too. People are so different in so many ways and children should be exposed to all of these differences. Children should be able to make up their own decisions in what they believe in and see what is best for them. When I was growing up I wish that I had more of these options available to me. I felt very lost and confused as a child having to attend a school, a class, and religious events that I just absolutely did not believe in. I'm sure that not being a Catholic disappoints my mother, that I'll never get married in a church, or force my children to attend any of the religious things I had to. At this point its just not up to them - & it shouldn't have been from the start.

Online Shopping Therapy

Whats the best therapy for any troubles? Umm… hello retail therapy.

After this weeks recent penile breakup drama shopping was a necessary. Hiding inside on a rainy day yesterday with my puppy next to me and watching the Lindsay show thats on demand, (I'm addicted, I am obsessed with her style also) I broke the bank a little and bought some stuff for myself online.

ShopJeen is one of my favorite online shops for all of the super lame things I'm into like, t-shirts and iPhone cases and jewelry. I bought two t-shirts, I just wish everything wasn't so expensive nowadays!

So cute for the summer with my black skater skirt, leggings &/or high-waisted shorts! 

I also bought this for my computer with all of the money that I've accumulated from selling some of my old clothes online. Its a computer sticker that I bought from an Etsy store. I'm hoping it will look as good in the picture but ughhhh who knows things never look as good in the pictures! (fast food ads hello?)

Hope everyone is having a lovely hump day! 

Rainy Tuesday

I generally enjoy the idea of a rainy day. Finally having a good excuse to be a hermit and stay inside and drink tea. Music always seems to sound better on a rainy day and showers feel so much more refreshing - am I right?

The idea of going out in the rain is a totally different story.

I always thought I enjoyed the rain until I moved to a city, where doing anything requires walking and walking outside at that. You really just haven't experienced rain until your umbrella flips inside out and you get completely soaked or if a car splashes up rain water (sex and the city reference is real). Basically, living in the city sucks when its raining.

My dog agrees with me on this motto. She refuses to go outside when it rains and would absolutely rather hold it in for another day. I bought her a rain jacket and she looks adorable even if she was completely embarrassed and absolutely hid behind me when other dogs walked by.

Here's what I'm listening to:

The Trapeze Swinger - Iron & Wine

No More Negative Nancy's

After spending this beautiful weekend with family and friends, I realized I needed to get rid of some negativity in my life.

*Cue the soundtracks tagged with "sad" "cry" "breakup"* 

It came to head last night when I finally became fed up with my boyfriend after feeling constantly disrespected and not given the proper attention I deserve. I am dealing with a huge family issue at the moment and constantly feel like its made less important when I discuss it with him. Honestly, I just know that there are so many more important people and things that deserve my time than someone who can't give me any of their time about something that is at its utmost importance to me. I also read this article and realized how horrible our relationship is. How horrible is it that I can apply 8/10 out of those scenarios to our relationship? I'm never the dramatic type, or the type to vent on a social site such as this, but it is what it is. He destroyed this relationship, he destroyed me. I am done with it - at least for now.

I'm being brave.
I'm letting go & embracing positivity.